Rejection’s Not Personal. Even When It Feels That Way.

Learning to Hear “No” (A Lot)

When you're looking for your next job and trying to build something new at the same time, odds are you're going to hear a lot of rejection. Some of it will be direct. A polite pass. A warm no. A thank-you-for-sharing.

But most of it? You won’t hear at all.

The pitch goes nowhere. The email is opened but unanswered. The job interview ends in a void. It's a strange kind of radio silence specific to this in-between — this moment of both seeking and starting over.

And if you’ve been someone who’s usually in demand, who’s been recruited, recommended, or just rarely had to wait long, it can be disorienting.

It was for me.

It’s Not Personal (Even If It Feels That Way)

At first, I internalized it. What did I do wrong? Did I say too much? Not enough? Did I come off as too ambitious? Too vague? Too available? Too something?

But over time, you learn that rejection, especially in this season, isn't a personal referendum. It's often about timing, capacity, internal politics, shifting priorities, or just people being too busy to respond.

Sometimes it’s not even that. Sometimes the systems just don’t make space for care or closure. Ghosting is normalized. Opacity is expected.

That doesn’t make it fun. But it does make it survivable.

Rejection Is a Skill

I used to think rejection would get easier. But really, it just got more familiar. Now, I flinch less. I ruminate less. I bounce back faster. I send the follow-up. I reach out again.

And slowly, I’ve come to see it as part of the rhythm, not a red flag, not a stop sign, not a reason to quit.

Just: information. Feedback. Practice. A sign that I'm trying.

The real challenge isn’t getting rejected. It’s staying open afterward.

It’s not letting the “no” shrink your confidence. It’s still showing up to the next thing — the next conversation, the next pitch, the next idea — with clarity, curiosity, and heart.

And it’s not just about work. That person you thought could be a friend but never followed up? The friend who keeps bailing on plans? The date where the spark just didn’t show up? That’s rejection too, even if it’s quiet or casual or well-intentioned.

Staying open means not closing yourself off to future connection. Not turning every disappointment into a story about your worth. It means recognizing that other people’s capacity, behavior, or preferences aren’t always about you, and even when they are, it doesn’t mean you need to bend to meet them.

Because if you're building something new — a career, a community, a life that looks different — the question isn’t whether you’ll face rejection. You will.

The question is: will you let it harden you, or sharpen you?

What Helps Me Stay Open

Sometimes I need to talk it out with a friend. Sometimes I write it down so it doesn’t live in my body. I look at my “good folder”, a file with reminders of work I’m proud of, kind notes, or moments that felt meaningful.

In an effort to shift my mindset, I’ve also been revisiting tools that once helped. I used to be a big Headspace user; the 15-minute guided meditations by Andy Puddicombe got me through an intense graduate program. These days, when the rejection stings more than usual, I’ve been using Finch, a self-care app that helps you build small habits and prioritize your mental well-being. My Finch pet is named Wobbles. She wears a sun hat and goes on daily adventures with me.

It’s a little silly. It’s also helping.

Final Thought

Rejection stings. It can chip away at your confidence and make you question whether the risk was worth it. But more often than not, rejection is often just information about timing, fit, readiness, or someone else’s bandwidth. It rarely tells the full story of who you are.

So keep pitching. Keep reaching out. Keep hoping. Not because every door will open, but because staying open yourself is the only way to find the ones that do.

You’re not for everyone. That’s not the problem, it’s the point.

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Conflict Resolution Is a Skill (And I’m Still Learning It)

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Mission: Imposter Syndrome