Don’t Network. Just Reach Out.
When I first got laid off, the advice was immediate and unanimous:
“You need to network.”
And sure, I understood the logic.
But the reality? It felt awkward, exhausting, and oddly transactional. Every “networking opportunity” came with pressure to impress, make the right ask, and act like I wasn’t quietly spiraling inside.
What I wanted wasn’t “leads.”
What I wanted was to feel human again.
What That Looked Like (for Me)
It wasn’t a strategy. It was survival.
It looked like:
Texting someone I used to work with: “Hey, I’ve had a sudden shift in work and would love to reconnect if you’re around.”
DMing someone I respected: “I’ve always valued your work and could use some perspective. Do you have time for a short chat?”
Messaging a friend: “It’s been a while. Can we catch up?”
Some of those conversations led to advice or job leads.
Some just reminded me I wasn’t navigating this alone.
Both mattered.
Networking Can Be Expensive — And That Matters
Here’s something else we don’t talk about: networking costs money.
Not just metaphorically — literally. Transit, tickets, coffee, clothes, time.
It adds up fast.
When you’re already dealing with the financial hit of a layoff, those small expenses start to matter a lot.
Here’s how I made it work on a tighter budget:
Suggest virtual. A 20-minute Zoom chat is still real connection.
Walk-and-talks. Free, low-pressure, and more memorable than another café meeting.
Lower the bar on “presentability.” You do not need a new blazer or full face of makeup to be taken seriously.
Batch your meetings. If you’re already out, schedule two back-to-back and pack a snack. Don’t forget water and sunscreen.
Name your limits. “I’m taking virtual calls this month” is a complete sentence.
Professionalism doesn’t have to mean spending money you don’t have.
Authenticity travels further than polish ever could.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Ask (But Know Your Audience)
A lot of people (myself included) hesitate to reach out because they don’t know what to ask for.
And yes, some people do need clarity.
If you're reaching out to a busy contact, a hiring manager, or someone who barely knows you, it helps to have a focused ask.
But not every conversation needs to be strategic.
Some people are safe to show up to without a script. Friends. Former coworkers. People who already root for you. You don’t need a perfect pitch, just a bit of honesty and the willingness to be seen.
Try:
“I’m figuring things out and just wanted to reconnect.”
“I’ve always appreciated your perspective — would love to hear how you’re doing.”
“I’m looking for new opportunities and am open to ideas. No pressure, just hoping to stay in touch.”
Not everyone is your audience.
But if you know who’s likely to meet you with care, that’s where to start.
Final Thought: Reach Out Anyway
Not every conversation needs to move your career forward.
Sometimes, the point is just to stay connected — to show up, imperfectly, in a moment that feels uncertain.
So no, you don’t have to network.
But you can reach out.
You can ask how someone’s doing.
You can remind people you’re still here — still showing up, still growing, still in it.
That’s enough.